I Hope You Realize, Natsu Dragneel
by blackarcane
Summary: "Ne.. Levy-Chan... I haven't done anything to deserve this right? Haven't I been put through enough? Haven't I cried enough? I'm tired of crying. I just want to go to sleep and forget all of this... Is that so bad? I don't want to hurt anymore..."
1. Chapter 1

** Arcane: Hi guys! I'm going to try and write a truly sad story. This relates to what I am feeling and I wanted to try and put my feelings into words so I you guys could understand .-. There is a reason why I haven't posted very much and I hope you guys will read this with a heart. I've been crying about this for awhile and I wanted to share with you my experience I guess :/ So enjoy I guess... I'm going make a NaLu fanfic and fit it to my situation so sorry if its OOC... enjoy I guess... I don't own Fairy Tail or any of it's characters...**

** I listened to "Here With You" from Mirai Nikki while making this One-shot. You should too by ~ishter-kun~ One amazing heck of a pianist. I'm a huge fan! He plays beautiful pieces on the piano.**

**I Hope You Realize, Natsu Dragneel..**

"Ne, Levy-Chan... Haven't I been hurt enough?" Lucy whispered.

"Oh Lu-Chan..." Levy-Chan whimpered.

This was not the first time that Lucy Heartfilia had broken down and lost her way. As she sat there nestled in the arms of her best friend, she wondered. What was there to live for? She did everything for her boyfriend. But now, her boyfriend was being whisked away from her by another girl, and all she could do was sit there and watch.

"Lu-Chan you don't need that jerk Natsu-Kun! You're too good for him!" Levy-Chan tried to cheer her up.

Lucy just nodded her head numbly. But all she could think about was the pain that rested deep in her heart.

"Ne.. Levy-Chan... I haven't done anything to deserve this right? Haven't I been put through enough? Haven't I cried enough? I'm tired of crying. I just want to go to sleep and forget all of this... Is that so bad? I don't want to hurt anymore..." Lucy said brokenly.

"He... He once told me that he wouldn't know what to do without me... but he has Lisanna right? Ne... do you think he would care if I died?" Lucy said as her voice cracked.

"To be honest... no... I'm sorry Lu-Chan.." Levy-Chan answered hesitantly.

"...So when he finds me dead.. the joke will be on him right?" Lucy smiled bitterly.

"D-Don't think like that Lu-Chan! Please you still have me, and Gajeel, and Lily, and Mira, and Wendy, and everyone in the guild!" Levy-Chan panicked.

"I'm fine! Just a little depressed! I won't do anything stupid I promise." Lucy smiled sadly.

"L-Lu-Chan... I have to go home now.. but please.. don't think like that. Everything will be fine. You don't need that jerk!" Levy-Chan said, her voice shaking.

"Thanks..." Lucy mumbled sadly, too lost in her own despair to pay attention to her dear friend.

Levy-Chan left silently, throwing a last look to her friend Lucy, who just sat on her bed, leaning her head on her knees, with a pink pillow covering her face, hiding all traces of her tears. Piles of tissues sat on the bed next to her. Levy-Chan silently made a prayer.

_Kami-Sama... why have you cursed my friend so? She doesn't deserve this. What has she done to deserve all of this pain and tears? Please if you are there and you are listening, help her. Please Kami-Sama I'm begging you to help her._

Then Levy-Chan left. Lucy slipped a hand under her pillow and pulled out a crisp picture. It was of her and Natsu, on their first date. He had his arm around her shoulder and was kissing her cheek while a a dark red blush had started to blossom upon her cheeks.

Happy had taken that picture of them. Of course the sneaky little cat would. Before all she had to do was look at this picture and she'd sleep easy. But now, all it brought her was pain. Her heart ached. Natsu had told her he loved her and not to worry.

**-Flashback-**

"_N-Natsu.. I-I don't like that Lisanna girl! H-How do you know she's telling the truth? You don't know anything about her!" Lucy stuttered._

_Natsu stopped walking. "She says she's cutting herself! She told me she wanted to die! LUCY. WOULD YOU HONESTLY LEAVE SOMEONE LIKE THAT?!"_

"_N-No..." Lucy said, on the verge of tears._

"_Exactly. I'm only trying to help her. I still love you Lucy, with all my heart. Trust me on this. Don't be jealous." Natsu answered before leaving to talk to Lisanna._

"_N-Natsu..." Lucy cried as she sat down onto her legs and held her hands to her chest._

**-Next Flashback-**

_ "Lucy! I'm disappointed! How could you even think that way?! I told you I only loved you! After all this time you still can't trust me?!" Natsu yelled._

_Lucy flinched backwards. "I'M HUMAN NATSU! YOU CAN'T EXPECT ME NOT TO BE JEALOUS! This isn't even about trust anymore!"_

_Lucy had started to sob. Natsu had a look of regret. "Lucy... don't cry. More than anything I hate to see you cry. I'm sorry. But Lisanna needs me. Gray already asked her if she loved me. He said she does but she said that she understands we are dating and won't interfere."_

_ Lucy looked doubtful but put on a smile. Natsu smiled back at her._

_Gray just didn't tell you what he thought... Lucy thought bitterly._

**-End of Flashback-**

Lucy hiccuped. She had always had problems with panic attacks. Remembering it made it worse. She couldn't breath and continued to gasp as she cried. The sobs racked her entire body. She just sat there and rocked herself.

"Natsu.. Oh why N-Natsu why..." She sobbed to herself.

_Even though.. Natsu Dragneel, you whispered sweet words to me.. is it enough to heal this wound? Is it enough to heal all this pain that you and Lisanna have dealt me? Is it enough to dry all the tears that I have shed? Is it enough to heal our bond? Is it simply enough to rebuild this trust? I don't know anymore. I don't know anything anymore. Can I blame you for this? Just please hurry and realize... I will not be here forever, waiting for you to realize your own mistakes. To realize all the pain and tears you have caused me. To realize that, even after all of this, I can still love you. And to realize, that you have done this to me. I hope you realize it soon because this pain is drowning me. Its burying me deep and soon, I'll be too deep or you to even reach me anymore. I hope you realize this Natsu Dragneel. I hope you do._

**Arcane: This ends my little sad one-shot .-. Hope you guys enjoyed. Review? And also... I thank all my readers who continue to support me. So thank you. Review and let me know what you think?**


	2. Chapter 2

** Arcane: Well! The story "I Hope You Realize, Natsu Dragneel" was meant to be a one-shot and not to be continued since, it was based on real events in my life however, you guys seem to want more so I've decided to write more! All of this is based off my life and how I feel so please understand that this isn't fake, although some parts I fixed so that it fits the plot of Fairy Tail better. I don't own Fairy Tail or any of it's characters, all rights go to Hiro Mashima, and I only own this plot!**

**I Hope You Realize, Natsu Dragneel: Chapter 2**

Lucy was at her home sitting quietly, as she waited for her boyfriend to contact her. He was away on a mission so he was supposed to contact her via Lacrima but she had yet to see one from him. She sighed and rubbed her hand against the smooth side of the Lacrima.

_When is he gonna call? _Lucy thought sadly.

"Luceeee!" She heard a voice call out excitedly.

She smiled down at the Lacrima gleefully.

"Natsu! How have you been? Is it nice there in Crocus?" Lucy grinned.

"Yes it is! They have the best-"

Then Natsu stopped and stared hard at something. "One second Luce, Lisanna is calling me."

"O-Oh... okay.." Lucy smiled painfully.

Natsu smiled then he disappeared. Lucy almost let the Lacrima roll out of her hand after he hung up. Her eyes were tearing, and she started to sniffle. She went back into her house and sat on the bed, completely crushed by the events that just occurred.

"W-... W-... WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Lucy sobbed.

She buried her face in her pillow and let the sobs and screams pour out. All the grief and pain that she had held in was being released.

She crawled under her blankets shakily and cried. Then after a few minutes, he called back. Lucy quickly rubbed her eyes on her blanket, took a few deep breathes and tried to make herself look decent.

"Lucyyy? I'm back!" Natsu said, like a child.

"B-Boo!" Lucy stuttered.

"Nice try Lucy but you know you can't scare me anymore!" He grinned triumphantly.

Lucy smiled bitterly but he didn't seem to notice.

"I'll be back after a few days alright Lucy? Then I'll take you to our favorite spot, and we'll have a picnic!" Natsu grinned adorably. **(Now, my boyfriend and I have a long distance relationship so keep in mind he never said this to me.)**

"Okay! Hurry and finish that job so that we can have our picnic!" Lucy said as tears leaked from her eyes.

"L-Lucy! Why are you crying?" He panicked.

She touched her face in shock. Sure enough, a few tears had leaked out. But Lucy just smiled.

"C-Cause I'm so happy!" Lucy laughed.

Natsu grinned. They said their goodbyes and hung up. As soon as he disappeared, her smile dropped and she let the hot tears race down her face.

She walked numbly back to the guild. As soon as she walked in her guild members welcomed her back. She smiled as brightly as she could before searching for one of her best friends, Gray Fullbuster. She spotted him at a table with Juvia.

"G-Gray?" Lucy sniffled.

Gray laughed and then turned toward her. His smile dropped as soon as he saw her expression.

"Lu..cy?" Gray said as his eyebrows scrunched together.

He walked up, and grasped her wrist gently before pulling her outside, under the tree. They sat down and he looked at her gently.

"Lucy... what's wrong?" Gray asked softly.

"I-I..." Lucy hiccuped.

"You can say it Lucy, it's okay." Gray smiled.

"The other day you asked me why I was so upset. Remember yesterday, Natsu asked to talk to me alone when you and Lisanna were talking?" Lucy whispered.

"Yes I remember." Gray frowned.

"He was angry at me because I told him I hated Lisanna. And he told me he was just trying to help her and that Lisanna was cutting herself and threatening to suicide. And he asked me if I would have just left her. I told him no. But Levy asked me a question. She said, 'How do you even know Lisanna is telling the truth? You don't know if she's cutting or if she wants to die. The way she acts, she sounds fine.'" Lucy frowned sadly.

"...There is a big possibility she isn't. There are many people in this world who pull the same trick. I honestly think Natsu is much too gullible, to believe something like that." Gray observed.

"I thought so... It isn't just me being full of it right?" Lucy sniffled.

"No, not at all. I would be upset if Juvia started getting comfortable with another guy." Gray agreed.

"That's how I feel. But I don't want to tell him because I don't want to start a fight." Lucy sighed.

"He thinks that you don't find him as interesting as you did before. I mean I understand that you want to hang out with Levy-Chan, because you want some girl time. I think Natsu's just insecure. Probably because he's surprised he was able to get an amazing girl like you. So he feels insecure about having you." Gray inferred.

"I second that thought." Lucy whispered.

"I think he cares about you but he cares a little too much maybe. He's just really protective." Gray smiled.

"I... I see..." Lucy frowned.

"I still think that it isn't right for him to do that to you but... I think you're misunderstanding his reasons." Gray said.

"You're... You're right Gray. Thank you for the talk Gray." Lucy smiled.

"No, no it's my pleasure to help you! I'm glad you came to talk to me." Gray smiled.

Then they both went their separate ways. Lucy sagged when she got home.

"Gray understands me better than Natsu does..." Lucy sighed.

_Natsu... when will you realize that Lisanna isn't playing innocent anymore? She's trying to break us apart. Even when you promised that you wouldn't let anything hurt me, you wouldn't let anyone or anything break us apart... why are you letting this get between us? Every single day I feel as if we are drifting further and further apart. It hurts Natsu, it hurts to know that I could lose you. That another girl is trying her hardest to beat me. I'm tired of fighting Natsu. I'm tired of crying and hurting because of this. But I can't let her beat me. Obviously that's what she wants right? So I can't give up. I can't stop fighting. So I'll keep fighting, so that I don't lose to her. And I'll wait for the day that you push her away and realize she's not playing nice anymore. Realize that every time she does something, it stabs a knife deeper and deeper into my heart._

** Arcane: I think I made a mistake and the chapters don't make sense together as a story but this is what actually happened a day after. It's not supposed to make sense as a story I guess. Just small parts of this argument that is tearing my heart apart. But thank you for reading this and I'm glad you enjoyed this. Special thanks to a guest named Creao who reviewed on my story, to hanahnyan10 because your review really touched my heart, so thank you and to guest J who reviewed also. Thanks to all who followed me, my story, favorited me and my story, thank you. It means the world to me especially now.**

**Little Note to hanahnyan1: Thank you! I'm glad to meet yet another person who understands me and what I'm going through. A lot of my friends feel for me too so I thank you. It makes me feel better just reading what you wrote in this review. Please continue to read my stories in the future and continue to support me. I appreciate it.**


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